If you have lost a loved one to DUI driver, you have the added anguish of knowing that the death was preventable. If only the other driver wasn’t drunk. The team at McGlynn, Glisson & Mouton understands your pain, anger and grief. We work with many clients who have suffered loss, and we know that everyone has their own type of grieving process.
According to Psychology Today, there are four main elements of grief, and they don’t show up in any set sequence or form.
- Separation distress: You may feel like you’re on a roller coaster with a mixture of feelings that can include loneliness, anger, sadness, helplessness, pain, anxiety, shame and more.
- Traumatic distress: You experience shock and disbelief and are overwhelmed with emotion. It is normal to try and avoid intrusions and the strong feelings they produce.
- Remorse, guilt: You are likely to begin using that 20/20 hindsight to beat yourself up about the things that you should have done with or for the deceased.
- Social withdrawal: You are sad, depressed and just want to be left alone in your grief.
A more healthy type of grief is acute grief. It is very painful but begins to allow other feelings into the mix, including joy in memories of the deceased or relief. Acceptant and understanding also come, along with forgiveness and a desire to give the loss some meaning.
A prolonged grief shows itself when you become paralyzed by grief and it lasts a long time. You still have all the painful emotions, but your thoughts are negative rather than the positive emotions you eventually begin feeling in acute grief. You may fear that you will forget the deceased or that moving on would be a betrayal. You have excess guilt or anger, and continue to remain in disbelief.
To help yourself get through this period, it is important that you stay healthy by taking care of yourself, getting exercise and eating right. Honoring the loss through volunteering or prayer, and compartmentalizing the loss can also help. For example, you focus on your workday life while you are working, then focus on the loss for however long you give yourself to do so each day. Learn more about the effects of DUI driving by visiting our webpage.